- Mama: What if you marry an asexual man? (just one of her casual remarks over lunch)
- Mama: Old people should not love each other. They should wear orange dhotis, become sadhus, and do yoga.
- Mama (to my brother, Vidur): I'm not going to smell your shorts. What's wrong with you?!
- Mama: Vidur, stop looking at your breasts!
- Mama: Divya, just put the damn DVD in the damn DVD player.
- Mama: *walks into hotel room* That half-eaten cheese looks poisoned.
- 10 minutes later...
- Vidur: *walks into the room, sees the cheese, and pops it into his mouth.*
- Mama: NO! That's poisoned!
- Vidur: *stops mid-chew as panic enters his eyes*
- Vidur: I'm putting lemon on my moles.
- Mama: He's shitting and weighing, shitting and weighing, shitting and weighing.
- Mama: Divya wants to adopt kids...Ethiopian kids. *turns to my dad and pats his back* You can look after them.
Things my momster says.
